“ LOVE”
LOVE is perhaps the most powerful and
intoxicating COCKTAIL we all experience in our Life at different times. This
invisible feeling is the core of the Universe which hold it together. When we
do not honour it or when we challenge it, everything gets disturbed and things go awry resulting in frustration and
destruction at all levels in our relationships.
The COCKTAIL called LOVE has its own highs and
lows and hangovers and life becomes more colourful if we can understand its true
nature and we can enjoy every shade of
it with full commitment an resulting enjoyment
The scientists ,all over the world ,are elated over the “discovery of
the GOD PARTICLE
and they say that 99.9% of the
secret of the Universe has come to light except for the .1% which ultimately
holds the world together .That intangible super power pervades the whole of the
Universe and may never be discovered . Let us call that GOD PARTICLE “LOVE”
which has the power to hold together everything and it cannot be touched or
seen but can only be EXPERIENCED.
I met Ashok in a shop which sells mobiles and I decided to ask him his
opinion on LOVE . After exchanging some words I abruptly asked him What do you
mean by LOVE. He was surprised at the unexpected question but answered “ Love
is a feeling I get when I am with somebody with whom I have a special bonding.
I asked him to explain the word
“special” to which he smiled at me and walked away but not before shrugging his
shoulders .According to Sudha who studies for MBA, LOVE is something which she
used to experience when she is in her home .But Mahesh is in love and he loses
his sense of time when he is with her.
When I asked a middle aged lady Rema who is
working in a government office to comment on LOVE ,the reply was “ I believed
in it once when I was in love but now I do not believe in it much because
something “important has gone out of it “ after my marriage . I asked
Joseph who is in the software industry
and he said” Love is like a wild fire, no one knows where and when it starts
and it is warm in the beginning, hot as it grows and destroys as it spreads
consuming everything.” I asked Suraj who dissolved his marriage in the crucible
called family court and he said in a dispassionate tone “Love is a fine feeling
that sprouts and blooms before marriage
and dies with divorce for hundreds of reasons,of which (90%)of the cases are
based on silly reasons ”. The love of
parents for children and vice versa has a different flavor at least for some
years .Here we are mainly concerned with LOVE
( in the romantic sense )
The theme of love has been there from the beginning of the Universe and
every religion in the world celebrates
it in very colorful ways .Love and Death are said to be the two sides of the
same coin. The shades of love that we find in literature all over the world are countless and it is perhaps the only word
that has almost lost its meaning or has acquired newer and newer meanings over
thousands of years across the world ,across culture ,across populations of all
descriptions .
The theme of Love between Krishna and Radha ,Adam an Eve, Shajahan and
Mumatz, Romeo and Juliet , Othello and Desdemona ,Dushyanthan and Sakunthala
,Macbeth and Lady Macbeth and many thousands of other characters give us the
archetypes of LOVE. To understand the word LOVE , at least to a certain extent
,we have to deconstruct it in the present context. the core of love remains the
same but its manifestations vary widely. The list of famous lovers is very long
,both in real life and fiction. But these lovers had their own tough times but
it disappeared in the real passion called love between them . the colour of Love
changes at every level of relationship right from BIRTH to DEATH.
But in recent times LOVE has become very dynamic and one can see many
manifestations of it ,sometimes finding a space in the public life. Love has ,
in many cases deteriorated mere Lust and which survives only for a short time .Love has become a real
butterfly , beautiful with a short life span .It has deteriorated , in many
cases into mere sex with the infatuation
becoming a cause for it.
Love is really circular which should reach completion once it starts
moving . But now , in most cases , it has become very casual and never reaches
completion even after marriage. Love often takes off as a tangent and spins off
and the so called partners spend years as YAYATHIS’ searching for the final act
of SEX ,the GREAT MIRAGE that leaves both the MAN and the WOMAN involved, full
of scars ,guilt and depression .This slowly pin both the feeling of having
committed sin, and ends up in a dark pit of suffering.
Technology has invaded the privacy of life and what could have been a
boon to human relationship slowly has started slipping into the abyss of
destruction. Internet ,mobile phones , I Phones ,blackberries are all good and
necessary “evils” of modern society but its “intrusion” into the sensitive area
of man-woman relationship is proving to be frightening . Many relationships and
marriages are on the brink of destruction. There are a large number of
technology addicts who are losing their grip on life and its very tender threads.
Shiny , a young wife complains that “ Facebook, e-book , and I pod has become
his first wife (or wives !) and he has no time for me. “ Online chatting and
virtual sex and visits to the porno web sites have taken away( in many cases)
the real romance out of their lives. Psychiatrists and counselors’ say that a
large percentage ( more than 50% ) of couples who end up in their rooms for
treatment blames technology as the villain in their strained relationship. this
is because men and women ( when
they face the realities of life) seek solace in the comfort zone
offered by the virtual world .
Alternate relationship can be
made and broken at will without accountability but there also someone’s
life at the other end gets broken
forever but the warmth of the tears are never felt . Here LOVE becomes a terrible VICTIM for
lack of proper communication between the TWO . When something interferes we
have to face it squarely –with a determination – LET US FACE IT and see through
it !. You should tell your partner “ Let us face it , YOU and ME ; the world is
nothing but WORDS ,let us talk it over across the table ,watching FRESH flowers
in the decorated vase ; let us meet eye to eye ,to break the ICE ; across the
table polished to shine ;let us punctuate our dialogues with pauses and full
stops ; and let us create a PRIVATE WORLD behind OUR PRIVATE WORDS ; before the
hands of the invisible clock strangulates us at its will.”
Treat LOVE and MARRIAGE as serious things and the pleasure and bliss the
meaningful relationship gives us is something no wealth ,drink or adultery can
give . Make your life long INVESTMENT in real LOVE and enjoy the fruit of it
and the joy of it will sustain for
generations to come . Respect for each other is the key in relationships .
A bunch of recent MALAYALAM films like
SPIRIT,22 FMALE,DIAMOND NECKLACE
etc. show the recent trends that we see in our present life. They make
certain statements in a powerful way. Love is the basis of all relationships .
It is very simple but we can make it very complex and complicated .Love has
tremendous power to hold us together and the whole UNIVERSE is maintained and
held together because of that great power LOVE which we may sometimes call
GOD - sometimes in religious phrase GOS
IS LOVE AND LOVE IS GOD . The .1%
particle is perhaps the most intangible but the omnipresent experience that everybody
can feel is perhaps LOVE – the greatest force in the UNIVERSE . LET US LOVE and
enjoy all the things connected with it !
LOVE is like the great SEA
The deeper you go
The more colouful it becomes
It is calm, it is rough
It is beautiful, it is unpredictable
LOVE is a strange word
Or a common word
You find in a dictionary
Shorn of all its complexities
Until it finds its CONTEXT IN OUR LIFE
Man (or woman) is basically an animal ; man is a thinking animal; man is
capable of intense LOVE; but when he falls to LOVE ;he becomes a guilty animal;
he needs redemption; she needs redemption; but they are far away; HE and SHE
become strangers; they start speaking in different languages ;one fails to know
the other; they pray for redemption; but they never hear each other; each
remains a mystery to each other. they start feeling like the two hands of a
clock; tethered to the spindle of fate… only LOVE can save this situation .
Let us sustain our LOVE at any cost : When one is in LOVE ; every
morning and every evening wears a FRESH look and every THOUGHT is as FRESH as a
FRESH dew drop on THE lap of a colouful
FLOWER .
Prof. Rama Bharatha Varma
